Sunday, June 24, 2007

Second Place is Just a Fancy Phrase for Losing...

It's always depressing when you realize that everyone is better than you at something. I'm not referring to something in a general sense since I know exactly what that something is. Writing.
I read my friend's blogs (most of which are not hosted by Google) and am almost always envious of their writing abilities.

It is obvious that society is always telling us that we should not be envious others but rather we are to be grateful for our own abilities. This belief has been force fed to us not only by religion and our parents, but is also a prevalent motif in many movies and television shows. Sure it is easy to believe that the grass isn't always greener on the other side, quite the pessimistic view in my opinion, but what if the grass actually is greener? Would you willingly give up any opportunity for "advancement"? NO WAY! If you think about it this way then isn't the "driving fore" for ambition envy? When you stop and look at it from this point of view, you begin to wonder why people are often rewarded for being ambitious, and are ridiculed behind closed doors by their peers for showing envy? Even with all things taken into consideration when given the opportunity our ambition(s) will almost get the better of us. Now I know that some people might disagree that ambition is a byproduct of envy. To you I say, "Why do you strive to achieve your goals?". Sure you might say that you want a better life for your family, to make someone proud, or even something as simple as to make more money. Obviously these are not all possible answers, they just happen to be the ones that are most often given when I ask people this question. For those that want a better life for their family this is clearly a simple case of greener grass. When you were growing up you could always find family that was "better off" than yours and you made them the benchmark for how you want your family to live when you have one. Now this might have been unintentionally but the fact remains that you had your envious moment.
This is why I'm not scared to admit that there are people whom I envy and strive to be better than. When I use better than I don't mean as in a better person, but better at some craft. In the case of this post it happens to be writing.

Even though it was made quite clear to me early on that I will never consider my writing even worthy of being sited in their works, I continue to try and improve. No matter how small the steps are I know that they are steps in the "right direction" and I am satisfied with this to some extent. This desire to be the best at something is what has made my math abilities what they are today. During my freshman year there was a girl competing in a higher division and she would perform quite well on a regular basis. It was near the end of that year that I told myself that I would do as least as well as she did when I got to that division. Sadly I was not able to accomplish this goal. However, my hard work did pay off because the following year I performed much better than she had in that division. By senior year we were teammates which had been something I had looked forward to since freshman year. Well the majority of the year I did better than her but there were times when she beat me. It was these "defeats" that drove me to become better. After reading that you might think that I'm just a jerk who wants to be better than his teammates. Unfortunately, your assumption would not be totally incorrect. I do want to be the best, plain and simple. Basically second place is just a nice way of saying, "of all the people who didn't win, you did the best". Yes quite the perfectionist statement, and no I don't live my life by this mentality. But thanks to the person mentioned earlier I was able to develop a great appreciation for the beauty of mathematics.

When it comes down to it envy can be put towards "good" or "bad" uses. Through our actions we will either be perceived as the jealous self centered conceited jerk or the motivated team player that is loved by all. At the end of the day all that matters is if you will be able to live with the decision you have just made.

To conclude things on a lighter note. I was watching television today and when asked why he cheated in a relationship the man simply responded with, "Competition.If she knows that there are other women then they will try harder to out do the competitors. It's simple economics really. If capitalism can work for the American economy then why shouldn't it also work for my love life?" I only wish I was there to see his girlfriend/fiancée/wife kill him after hearing that excuse.

1 comment:

Ann said...

haha. i was thinking of that end quote while i was reading that.
and i agree with you. competition makes you better for yourself, not just to beat other people. all this year(jr year) and some of last (soph.) i envied those who took harder classes and got better scores than i did in school, and i knew i could be as good as them. i envied them more because they actually thought to take those classes and study harder and such.
jr year i did so much better in school and mao because of the competition i had with those other people. without it, i wouldn't have done as well as i did this year, and don't regret that envy at all.
so yeah, i know completely where you're coming from